30 Day NSFW Challenge with America and England
by Vampire Catfish1
Summary: 30 Prompts for 30 Days, all with M-ratings. There will be pleasure, pain, McDonald's and fail sex galore as England tries to spice up their sex life, relieve America's horniness, or both! Warning: Extreme CRACK ahead.
1. Intro

Okay, so I wrote myself little prompts for each one of these before I actually started the challenge to help myself along, and so I'm putting them here - hopefully, these will get you interested in what's to come in the future :P

I'm not going to put what each day is until I actually publish the one shot to keep you wondering ;) but also because I suspect the first two are going to be rather plain (as you can see from the descriptions.)

As I said in the summary, there is going to be fail sex galore. I think there is only one day where they actually have decent sex, the rest is just going to be seriously weird experimenting as England makes various attempts to either spice up their sex life or ease America's horniness.

Most of these are my attempt at being funny, so I'm sorry if I fail ;_; I usually like sticking my characters in angsty situations, and some of these are going to be pretty weird, even for my dirty mind (I've planned at least two paragraphs of food porn for Day Sixteen ^^')

If you've read my other stuff, then you'll know I generally try to write serious(ish) stuff, and never in the first person. I've never written smex before apart from seriously saucy roleplays, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I'm aiming for humour rather than sexy.

Also, these are just rough prompts, which i may change at the last minute if I find it too hard to write on the day.

Also, I can't stressed how chuffed I am with my idea for Day Four, and I reeeeeeally hope it hasn't been done before .

Also, I have two or so weeks of very, VERY heavy drinking planned (bring on refreshers!) and so, depending on when I decide to start this, it may stop suddenly for a two weeks as I attempt to sift through my boughts of headaches and puking (though you probably didn't need to know that...)

* * *

**Day One** - Tired England  
**Day Two** - Tired and stressed Engand  
**Day Three** - England rides America  
**Day Four** - Fast food chain catchphrases  
**Day Five** - Cola-flavoured condom  
**Day Six** - Horny in the World Conference  
**Day Seven** - Horny before the World Conference  
**Day Eight** - Pizza Rolls  
**Day Nine** - In an alleyway  
**Day Ten** - Spanking  
**Day Eleven** - England dominating America  
**Day Twelve** - America 'preparing' England  
**Day Thirteen** - England showing America the pleasures of bottoming  
**Day Fourteen** - Useless America  
**Day Fifteen** - Reuinion  
**Day Sixteen** - McDonalds  
**Day Seventeen** - Kitchen  
**Day Eighteen** - America falls asleep  
**Day Nineteen** - Phone Booth or a Tree  
**Day Twenty** - Food come-ons  
**Day Twenty-One** - Late for work  
**Day Twenty-Two** - America fails at being romantic (again)  
**Day Twenty-Three** - Octopus  
**Day Twenty-Four** - Full tsundere mode  
**Day Twenty-Five** - Vibrator  
**Day Twenty-Six** - Same old America  
**Day Twenty-Seven** - Angry sex  
**Day Twenty- Eight** - Teacher-Student  
**Day Twenty-Nine** - Ice cubes  
**Day Thrity** - America finally Bottoms


	2. Day 1 - Cuddling (Naked)

England was grumpy again. At first, I totally thought it was my fault because he kept looking at me, sighing and then walking off to go do Englandy things. It's always a bad sign when England does that. When he's angry, he usually just shouts and glares at me all day, but then at night I get to have really awesome angry sex where he begs me to pound to into him. That sounds kind of weird, but trust me! Angry England is super-sexy!

But it's so lame when he's grumpy. He just walks around the house huffing and puffing and we don't even have sex :/

Apparently, I'm just meant to be kind and understanding, and he said that kind and understanding don't equal sex :(

We were lying in bed, both of us naked, trying to get to sleep. He was lying on my arm as I curled around him, my other arm draped over his stomach. Spooning should totally be a national sport or something. I'd win all the medals.

The only reason we were going to sleep before midnight was because England said he had an early flight tomorrow. I pointed out that that was no excuse for avoiding 'goodbye sex', but he just glared at me and then stomped off to go clean his teeth.

Just as I started to feel that heavy feeling in my eyes that lets me know I can turn off my brain, I heard this weird rasping noise. I though it was me at first, but I held my breath and it didn't stop. Then I realised it was coming from England, so I thought I'd be kind and understanding and tell him.

"England, you're breathing to loudly."

He just mumbled at me to fuck off.

Jeez, he doesn't even appreciate it when I try to be nice :I

He wiggled slightly, trying to get comfier. Obviously my heroic muscles were too hard for him to handle. He'd shifted so that my nose was in his hair. I'd only just gotten comfortable, so I really didn't want to move, but there was no way I could sleep with hair in my face.

I tried leaning my head back slightly, but that was a mistake. England has these really old feather pillows from, like, the olden days that have all these spiky bits poking out. It's so hard to find a comfy position because one wrong move and you have spikes in your cheek and a weird pattern on your face in the morning. I told him to get some decent pillows that you can actually sleep on, or even the really cool NASA ones that mould around your head, but he just looked at me like I was talking 'bollocks' again.

It's called memory foam, bitch.

I couldn't open mouth to breath, but I didn't want to get any more hair up my nose, so I was totally focused on breathing reeeeeeally slowly like you do when your parents check to make sure you're sleeping or there's a burglar in your house and you don't want to be murdered.

I didn't realise how hard breathing was! I was so focused on not eating hair that I forgot to breathe and ended up gasping for air. It was so scary!

"What the hell are you doing?" England asked, annoyed.

"Nothing." I answered, maybe a bit too quickly.

"Just shut up and go to sleep." He wriggled again,his shoulders rubbing against my chest.

I settled for softly breathing into his hair through my nose. It wasn't that long, so even if it did go up my nose, it wouldn't get stuck there (which would be hilarious! Think of how funny England's reaction would be if he woke up and I had massive blonde hairs coming out my nose :D)

He actually smelled really good. I expected him to have that creepy old man incense smell China has, but he was all minty and fresh, but not in a tooth-pastey way. He used to smell like vanilla all the time. It was so nasty and boring, but now he smelled like proper ice-cream. He must have finally discovered the wonders of scented shampoo! There were so many awesome kinds out there.

You can get these super fruity ones where the smell is so strong that you can taste it on your tongue! The strawberry ones are soooo good. But you can't eat them. :( I tried doing that once and shampoo just tastes blergh.

One time, I went around smelling like nutella all week. It was so cool.

They should totally invent burger smelling ones. Think of how awesome it would be if I could just reach up, pull out some of my hairs and, voila, I can imagine my favourite food even better!

Though I wouldn't say voila. Voila is a french word and France is a weirdo.

I was starting to get turned on. I was pretty horny anyway due to the fact I'd been expecting my goodbye sex all day, and due to the fact that we were naked in bed as well, but I'd started imagining what it would be like if England smelled of burgers, and now I was started to get hard.

"England, lets have sex." I whined quietly.

There was a bit of pause before England sighed. "I'm too tired right now. The sex will just be crap." Oh! That meant he'd actually considered it. Even if I couldn't get goodbye sex, a goodbye blow job would be just as good!

"Come on dude," I nudged my hand up to his chest, slowly circling with the tips of my fingers, looking for his nipple. "Sex is like pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still pretty good.

"Did you just call me 'dude'?"

I froze.

Oops...

England hates being called dude. I figure it has something to do with his age complex (he gets seriously hung up about that :/ ) and how the only nation around older than him is, like China, who is ancient. I think that's why they are such good friends. They just drink tea and cry about how old they are.

"Are you hard?" He asked in that pissy tone he uses before he shouts at me.

"No." I so was. If I'd been wearing pants, the strain would have been killer.

I was so horny, and just the feel of England's soft back against my chest was getting me turned on.

I thought I could be sneaky. Like, if I just sorta slipped my hand around his cock and started feeling him up, his hips would do that bendy thing where he arches back into me and then he'd get all gaspy and horny, but he must have been really tired!

England loves sex! I'm not joking. In his creepy-ass list things he enjoys, it's up there between tea and the Queen (though I never figured out how he could enjoy the Queen...) so I was totally surprised when he slapped my hand away.

I decided I needed to be more forceful, as England was seriously grumpy this time, but I didn't care. I deserved my goodbye sex.. Blow job... Whatever.

I leaned forward and gently bit the top of his ear, giving it a slow lick before leaning down to whisper. "I want you, England." I tried to say it in that really husky tone that he does all the time.

I felt him stiffen in my arms as he shifted, turning over to face me.

His eyes were twinkling in the moonlight that shone through the crack in the curtains, and as he looked up at me, I felt a twinge in my crotch. He was totally giving me the bedroom eyes! I was in! I was so in! Guess who was getting their goodbye sex after all!?

I grinned widely, tightening my grip, when all of a sudden, he punched me in the stomach!

England may be old, but he has a mean right hook. I seriously thought I was going to die, you guys. It hurt so badly. ;_;

"Just sleep!" He shouted at me before shoving my arm out from under him and pushing me away.

I hate grumpy England...

* * *

**A/N:** Urgh... Sorry...I read this over and realise how crap it is :/

I still need to find a decent voice for my version of America. I have him saying 'like' and 'totally' a lot, because all the Americans I know personally say it all the time ^^'

Anyway... I'll try to make tomorrow more sexy. I've got a long train journey tomorrow, and I also want to work on the next chapter of Heroes Don't Die (Scotland is so freaking sexy when he's angry, omg :3) – and no-one has been able to guess how Scotland can see America, as of yet :P

I'm not actually sure if I can internet at my friends place, so the next update might not be here until Friday.

Please check out the poll on my profile.


	3. Day 2 - Kissing (Naked)

So, it was another typical night in our bedroom.

England was staring down at me, a blush flaring across his cheeks as he gasped my name in pleasure, riding me with everything he had. My hand was wrapped around his cock, my thumb gently -

Lol, who am I kidding?

I mean, I was technically naked (wearing a bath robe ;) ) and Arthur was staring down at me. His cheeks were red, and his mouth was open, and he was saying my name, but there was no awesome gasping, or pleasure or anything.

England was shouting at me again :T

I mean, okay, sure, this time I could kinda get why he was angry. Even I would be pissed if someone had used my 100-year-old scotch for cooking, but still.

"It was a present from the Queen!"

"You have tones of queens, dude."

"Don't call me dude! And it was from Elizabeth!"

"Aren't, like, all of them called that?"

He went seriously red at that and then started ranting about how I know nothing about him.

How was I supposed to know what they were called? Just because he was such a nerdy stalker that he knew all the names of my presidents in order doesn't mean I should know all his queens. Hell, sometimes I'm a bit shaky on my current one. And anyway, 'Mr President' sounds so much cooler than 'George Washington.'

Or was it Kennedy?

Bush?

Meh, whatever. He was a cool guy, Mr Whatever-His-Name-Was, but he didn't like me doing things that waste taxes :/

Like, I was totally for that Death Star* thing, and he was all 'Lol, no, we need to take over the world before we blow up Tony's planet' :O

Anyway, I'm pretty sure calling all your queens by one name is, like, an English tradition or something, like shouting 'Tally ho!' as you cross a bridge or telling a hot chick she's smashing as you gnash your massive teeth at her.

"But the recipe needed it~" I totally didn't say in a whiny voice.

"It was sherry, you retard, and not the whole fucking bottle!" I was just glad I was sitting on the bed so I didn't have to stand during his ranting. In this really scarily calm voice, he told me to go take a shower (I think he wanted me to think about what I had done...), and now he was pacing back and forth shouting at me.

I tried balancing my ankle on my knee, opening up the robe and giving him a peek of what he was missing out on by shouting at me, but he just called me a 'twat' and continued ranting about how irresponsible I was and stuff... :/

"I thought it would be easy to do."

"YOU WERE MAKING A FUCKING TRIFLE!"

Yeah, there was no way I was getting laid tonight :(

"And what in God's name made you set the bloody thing on fire afterwards!?"

Oh yeah... That too...

I sorta kinda set his kitchen on fire as well...

It wasn't that bad really. His surfaces were just a bit crispy now...

I thought that's what 'toast lightly' meant, but apparently, you're meant to take it out of the plastic bowl and put it in a pan before you use the hob. Considering I'd spent ages making up all the layers, it seemed like a really stupid thing to do, so I just put the bowl straight on the flame and went off to play games.

"It's not like you can use the kitchen anyway..." I mumbled.

"Just because I can't fucking cook doesn't mean I want my whole house stinking of smoke!"

I thought it did anyway, but I kept that thought to myself. He probably couldn't make a salad without setting it on fire.

He was seriously pissed though. He had this really annoying habit of going off on a tangent when he was angry, bringing up stuff from years ago that he said he had forgiven me for, but it was totally obvious he hadn't.

He'd been going on about the 'Tony Incident', as he liked to call it, for five minutes now :/

"He just wasn't house-trained." I tried defending him.

"He shat in my shoes religiously for three weeks!"

I chuckled. Good old Tony.

Uh oh... His eyes flashed with anger and I was totally expecting him to whack me with a pillow like a pussy, but he just closed his eyes and started taking these really weird long, deep breaths. It was like he was in a trance, or having pregnancy pains or something.

I flinched as his eyes shot open a minute later,. Glaring at me, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look, I'm tried and I have paperwork to do." He ran a hand through his hair. "We'll talk about this tomorrow."

…

Wut? ._.

Not gonna lie, I was relieved, but I expected at least another half an hour of ranting before he blew his top, called me a wanker and stormed off to his office to huff and grumble to himself.

He started to really freak me out when he slipped off his crappy old-man 'inside' shoes (that are really slippers, no matter how much he denys it) and started to unbutton his shirt. "Well?" he said, eyeing up my robe. "We don't have much time. Aren't you going to take that off?"

Sex? I was getting sex? :D

Oh man, this was so totally awesome. I should set his kitchen on fire more often!

I slipped of my sexy sexy bath robe, throwing him a wink as I slid it off my shoulder.

His face twitched, but I didn't care. Even fast, angry sex was better than no sex at all.

We hadn't done it for three days due to England being 'busy'. He keeps claiming that, because he had too much paperwork, or that he's tired, or that I was too rough the night before, that he can't do it, but I know it's only because he totally loves torturing me. :I

"Lie down." He said, well, snarled, but whatever. I sat back on the bed, shuffling back and sitting up on my elbows so I could watch the now naked England advance on me.

Umpf...He was so sexy when he was mad. His muscles were all tense, making his chest look better than ever. And his hips were doing that sexy swaying thing they do when he's totally ready to be entered.

He slid onto the bed, pushing my legs open with his knee as he inched towards me, stopping just before my crotch. I opened them willingly, wanting him to grab me as quickly as he could.

He shot a glance at my dick, running his eyes slowly up my body, biting a lip as a sexy smile spread slowly across his lips. His eyes became hooded as he crawled further up, pushing his knee into me, chuckling as I winced. It was cool though. Pain is pleasure, right guys?

Right...?

Stretching up, he seductively licked the tip of his finger, bringing it down to circle my nipple. I shuddered as he smirked, bending down and teasing it with one slow lick, never taking his eyes from mine.

I blushed furiously as he watched me. Angry England was sexy, but he was never this alluring.

Something was up.

But still – sex. :D

His knee grinded into me as he captured my mouth with his, his tongue begging for entry, and I gladly gave it. I thought I felt him chuckle, but I honestly didn't care, as the familiar horny nervousness that England always gave me began to grow. The moment our tongues touched, he moaned, rubbing more furiously as he entwined them.

Oh God. I forgot how much I missed this.

For five minutes we kissed, England rocking and moaning against as I grew harder and harder. He gently caressed the roof of my mouth, ran his tongue over mine and nibbled my lip, doing everything so slowly it was agonising.

He suddenly pulled back from the kiss, leaving my mouth cold and lonely. "Turned on?" He whispered huskily. Too right I was. On a scale of one to porn star, I was right up there with Lexington Steele.

"Close your eyes." He chuckled again.

Excited by the number of things he could do, I shut them immediately. A soft kiss brushed my lips before his familiar weight lifted from the bed.

I listened with everything I had, trying to figure out if he was going to his 'special box' in the closet that he never let me see, or if he was getting one of his 'outfits' from the drawers. I was growing more and more horny with each passing second as he paced around the room.

There was an odd click and I opened my eyes, sitting up suddenly as I saw him slip into our adjoining bathroom. "Sleep well." he smirked as he closed the door behind him.

I stared open-mouthed, trying to figure out what I had done to deserve-

Oh... Yeah...

"Asshole" I sobbed, grabbing my cock as I heard the hiss of the shower and started to slowly pump.

His eyes may have been laughing, but I knew they were actually full of **evil!**

* * *

*This is actually a real thing. Go type in 'US Government turns down death star petition' into google to find out more.

A/N: Omg, the number of views on this. Seriously, every on of you who's reading this, I love you – you're amazing :3

And I'm sorry America! ;_; I do love you, but bullying you is so much fun :3 You'll get some tomorrow, okay? (though, iirc, he doesn't get any for a few days after that...)

Also, even though I'm studying Publishing and English at uni, descriptive words are not my forte. The ones you read here are about as good as it gets, sadly, but hopefully the light chatter and comments from America distract you from this fact.

Sorry if there are typos or anything - I'm doing this in a rush because it's a friends birthday. Tomorrow may be late due to the wonderful hangover I will have when I wake up -.-"

Anyway, hope you enjoyed Day Two :)

Please check out the poll on my profile.


	4. Day 3 - First Time

**A/N:** Okay, so I like to imagine that England is America's first, so this is going to be the story of when America lost his virginity.

Heads up – this is going to be the first time I've written proper sex (I'm actually thinking that I should have gotten some practise before I started doing this challenge, but no matter), so I'll try to make it sexy, but I'm totally nervous about this ;_; which means I'm probably going to keep it mostly serious.

Also, for all intents and purposes (I never know if that is a real phrase or not...) America is 18.

Well, here I go...

* * *

Finally! The moment I'd been waiting for since I was thirteen.

I, America, was going to have sex.

Yeah, like, real sex. With a person and everything!

And even better – it was going to be with England. :D

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yours truly was going to have sex with the love of his life, and it was England's suggestion!

You have no idea how excited I was about this, you guys. Ever since he told me two years ago that he'd do me when I turned eighteen, I'd been waiting not-so-patiently for this day! I'd imagined it a million times in my head and I knew that whatever England did, it was going to perfect!

Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Midnight!

"England! England! England!" I burst into his room, massive grin on my face, slamming on the light and jumping onto the bed, bouncing up and down as I continued to shout his name.

"What the fuck are you doing, you bloody wanker?" His back was to me as he peeked out from under the covers, his eyebrows twitching at me from the other side of the bed as he saw I was naked.

I thought he'd be just as excited as me, like, maybe he would be waiting for me with one of those sexy outfits that he keeps in his bottom draw and thinks I don't know about.

"Aren't we going to have sex?"

"Since when?" He started to pull at the covers, tugging them back over his head and hiding his face in the pillow, trying to get away from the light.

"Um...Since forever." How could he have forgotten?

"Urgh...really?" He mumbled.

"Yeah!"

"Can't it wait? I have an early meeting." I couldn't believe it. My whole life had been leading up to this moment and he was trying to brush me off!

"You always have meetings." I pouted. "And it's my birthday!"

"Is it?" He shifted, looking at me over his shoulder.

Oh no. He did not just forget my birthday!

"I thought it was tomorrow." He said as he turned over, looking up at me. I sighed in relief. Maybe he just didn't know it was midnight. He did look like he had been fast asleep, and his eyebrows were currently in epileptic caterpillar mode, which everyone knew meant he was super-tired and didn't have the energy to shout. It was almost beautiful really, like his eyebrows were expressing the emotions his voice couldn't.

"It's officially Monday!"

"Oh..." I saw him shift under the covers. "Can't we do it tomorrow?"

"What!?" I sort of yelped.

He sighed really loudly, like, his whole body inflated, the covers lifting off of him and everything. "If I do you now, will you leave me alone tomorrow until I've done my work?"

I nodded furiously. This was nothing like I had imagined, as England always had been waiting for me in some sexy situation that had him desperately wanting me with everything he had, but I needed this so badly. I hadn't jerked off for a week, and now I could finally show England I was a hero in more than one department ;)

He slid towards me, pushing his chest against mine and leaning up for a kiss.

I held back a grin, returning it and curling my hand around his back to pull him closer as I deepened the kiss, curving my tongue around his.

Oh yeah, this is what I was talking about.

He ran a hand up my inner thigh, his thumb gently grazing my sensitive skin. I wiggled, giggling at the tickly feeling and the started to grow nervous, my breath catching my throat as his hand snaked over my hip and he began caressing my butt and squeezing gently.

This was it. I would finally wake up tomorrow no longer a virgin, beating Canada at yet another thing!

"Though I am surprised," England purred. "I didn't think you'd be so eager to take it up the ass."

I froze, staring at him wide-eyed.

"U-Up where!?" I shouted.

He winced, flinching at my voice, and started scowling again. "Don't tell me you don't know how sex between two men works?" he asked grumpily.

I thought it was just a lot of rubbing and touching! I didn't know he was going to stick his dick up my ass!

One time I got drunk and stuck my hand down England's pants, and he was pretty fricking huge. There was no way something like that was going to fit up there!

I tried picturing it but all I got where flashing images of pain.

"Um..." I avoided his eyes, blushing furiously.

"Fine." He sighed. I watched him curiously as he shuffled around under the covers, pulling out his boxers and pyjama bottoms a minute or two later and throwing them over the side of the bed.

He seemed to have gotten over his sleepiness, his caterpillars now resting as he grabbed my shoulders, pushing me onto my back and mounting me, the covers abandoned on the left side of the bed.

England... Naked...

Oh my God, England was naked!

I hardened instantly at the sight of him sitting on me, his ass grazing the tip of my cock and causing me to buckle slightly. He tightened his legs around me, keeping me in place, and tutted. "Just stay still and let me do all the work, love." I nodded slowly, my eyes glued to his hardening dick. It totally wasn't noticeable underneath that lame-ass sweater-vest and old-man trousers, but England had a really good body!

He was all smooth and toned and his muscles were totally pronounced. He had this light patch of short blonde chest hair that I really wanted to touch. I mean, I know men have chest hair (even though mine hasn't grown yet :I ), but I never thought I'd actually find it attractive. Hair was just hair, and yet on his chest it was like a soft blanket of golden fur that I couldn't resist stroking.

I stretched up, wanting to run my hands across his chest and feel his muscles under my fingertips, but he slapped my hand away, glaring at me, so I settled for resting my hands on his thighs as he rose up on knees.

He spat on his right hand and started to rub and spread the spit over his fingers. I grimaced as I watched him, trying to figure out what was going on. "Well, it's not like you have lube here, is it?" He asked, rather snarkily in my opinion. Lube? What the hell was that? And why was he even spitting on his fingers anyway? I thought sex was meant to be, well...sexy, and this so wasn't.

He placed his hand on my chest, leaning his weight on me as his hand vanished behind his back. I couldn't work out what was going on. This was never part of my fantasies.

He winced, his face scrunching up as something happened, his shoulder rolling up and down over and over again. His face softened as as he cheeks started to redden and his lips began to twitch. "A-America." He moaned as his mouth dropped open. I didn't know what he was doing with his hand back there, but whatever it was, it looked freaking amazing!

His arm just kept moving and moving, his hips buckling and grinding back and forth as England rocked over me. I couldn't take my eyes from his face, his usually neat hair mussed up, his lips moving in silent gasps as he pleasured himself by with what I now guessed where his fingers.

"I-I think I'm ready." He said softly.

Positioning himself over me, he grabbed my cock, causing me to wince and he roughly stroked me three times. But there was no need, I was already rock hard and could barely take him touching me without coming.

I squeezed my eyes shut, biting my lip as I felt him move me to place him at his entrance, biting hard and trying not to come at his rubbing.

He pushed down, slowly lowering himself on me inch by painful inch.

I gasped, calling out as he started to rock his hips.

Oh wow.

Ohwowohwowohwowohwowohwowohw ow.

I'd never felt this good. My hand was never this warm and tight and just so amazing. All these sensation were accosting me and I could barely breathe from the pleasure. I tried to call out England's name, wanting to tell him that I loved during our first time together, but I was gasping so loudly and roughly, everything about him so wonderfully breath-taking that as my back arched and my hips jerked, trying to thrust into him further, it was all I could do to moan.

He started tightening around me as he rose and fell, plunging me deeper into him. I was completely focused on holding back, not wanting to let it end, but after one hard thrust that had England calling out my my name, I couldn't take it anymore and came in a wave of intense pleasure.

He looked down at me, a weird smile on his face as he slipped me out of him, leaning up and kissing me gently.

"Was I good?" I asked, panting as he climbed off.

"Tonight wasn't about me." He sighed as he patted me on the head and before he rolled out of the bed, limping towards the bathroom.

Awesome! That meant he loved it! I really was a hero after all! :D

* * *

**A/N:** Not sure if it's creepy or not to think that America losing his virginity was also the first time I have written sex (see what I did there :P ) Well, what's even creepier is I'm at a friends right now and I've just written this whole thing in a room full of people I've only known for a day, one of which keeps trying to look at what I'm writing.

'I'll meet you in cyberspace,' my arse.

I'll have no regrets when I murder them ^-^ (you know who you are).

Anyway, thank you again for the reviews ;_; So much love for you guys.

Could you possibly leave a review and tell me how you found this? I know it was fail sex, but I was wondering if at least my descriptions were at least a little bit sensual, or did they just sound blunt and awkward (I still get weirded out writing the words 'dick' and 'cock', but I can't imagine America would use sexier words like 'length' or just being vague and saying 'reached down and took me in his hand' as he is generally a straight-forward kind of guy.)

Urgh... And sorry for leaving large author's notes at the start and end of all of these as well...

Please check out the poll on my profile.


	5. Day 4 - Masturbation

Just a heads up – this is going to be slightly weird...

Hope you like food porn :D

* * *

I sat in the comfy chair that was right next to the front door. It was totally awesome and perfect for my plan, as it was positioned so that its back was to the door and you could never tell if someone was sitting there or not when you walked in.

After I'd got bored of trying to pass the time, I had spent a while in it plotting my revenge (occasionally stroking my imaginary cat and saying 'Hello, Mr. England' followed by my evil laugh (impersonating a bond villain is the only acceptable time a hero like me can be a bad guy)), and now I had something perfect.

And all this was because England was late, again.

He's always late and it never really bothers me, but it was a Friday, and Friday was date night.

Okay, sex night, but England always wanted to do lovey-dovey couples stuff like dinner and a stupid movie about horses or something before sex, and he hit me every time I called it sex night, so it's officially known as 'date night'. I have a really hard time staying awake through those lame-ass movies when I'm not tired, and I'd been waiting for him for over five hours now. I was so sleepy, but I refused to close my eyes because this time I was super-serious about showing him how much I loved sex - I mean - date night.

I had been soooo bored all day waiting for six o' clock, when England would walk through the door, kiss me, I'd stick it in (the DVD, I mean ;) ), we'd cuddle and eat some good take out and then sexytimes!

I had tried playing games, but England said that I've been spending too much money (apparently $500 a week on food is 'abnormal') and buying unnecessary things in unnecessary quantities (it's not my fault the adverts make everything look so cool (and obviously I need more than one – what if one breaks?)) and that I don't even have room for most of it. I wanted to build an extension onto my house, but he starting shouting about how I already have twenty rooms of 'crap' that I never use, so what was the point in adding another. He just didn't understand that I really needed some of the stuff, like the iWipe so I could rock out as I did my business, and the self shooter, because England refuses to go sight-seeing with me and, for some reason, everyone seems to avoid me so I have to take the pictures by myself. :(

Anyway, because of that, I had no new games, so I could only play for so long until I got bored. None of my friends were online either, so I couldn't play Black Ops or anything like that.* And whenever I try joining a new party, they always get really angry at me and tell me to shut up or go away.

After that, I went and found Tony, but he was still sleeping in this weird shell of clothes he constructed in his room when he first moved in, and just called me a 'fucking yankee' before pulling one of England's 'missing' Christmas jumpers across the hole that was his door.

I figured Tony wasn't in a social mood, so I started ringing people, but every one was either busy or not in. Even Canada, who has, like, no friends and doesn't even get noticed enough to have important stuff to do, was 'busy.'

It's weird, almost as if people don't like me or something :(

And so now I sat, waiting for my revenge. I was gonna scare the living bejeezus out of him. Then he would learn that was a price for missing date night.

Why was he always late anyway? I was a bigger country than him. He's just a stupid collapsed empire and I'm a super-power, baby. If anything, I should have way more work than him, but my boss said that it's best if I don't get too involved with world affairs, so I just leave everything to him.

Another great thing about the chair? It was in perfect view of the TV so, even though my awesomely evil plan would take a while, I wouldn't get bored.

What was shitty about all of this was that I'd spent the whole day getting really horny as I kept imagining all the ways I would do England, the ways I would make him gasp, moan and bend under my touch. Maybe I could finally convince him to open the box he kept in the cupboard (according to him, it was filled with presents that France had been buying him over the years that he never used, but I honestly had no idea what it they could be. :/ ) If I was nice and considerate enough I could maybe even get him into that nurses outfit I have sort of been thinking about all day.

What happened next couldn't really be considered my fault. People have actually said that food adverts are deliberately sexy so that people get turned on, but for food! And it totally works. And the way that they set them up, showing the meat juices, the curve of the bun and that cheeky piece of lettuce peeking out from under it...

Add three of those adverts to my current predicament, and it was only natural that I ended up with my pants around my ankle and my hand around my cock.

I couldn't really focus when the TV swapped to an advert about trucks, so I turned it off and started to focus on myself.

"Oh yeah, you're lovin' it, aren't you?" I muttered quietly to myself as started to stroke in long pulls, deliberately not holding myself too hard to make me crave the feel and mentally beg for my own touch the longer I pleasured myself.

I was trying to think sexy thoughts: England calling out my name in pleasure, England wrapped in his tight nurses out fit, England seductively calling me to as he lay between two buns, his body stretched across a sexy meat-

Wait...what?

I paused, shaking my head as I tried to think back to England, posing sexy and throwing me a come-hither look, running a hand up his leg and grinning at me. "It takes two hands to hold this whopper." He purred, spreading his fingers and cupping -

No! England and food were two different things!

I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths and trying to focus.

England lay on the bed, his legs open as he held the pot of barbecue sauce. He dipped in two fingers and brought them to his lips, licking it up and moaning as he sucked on them, his legs writhing as he called out my name. He opened his eyes, staring at me as I moved towards him. He smirked deeply. "America, I want your special sauce." he said as he scooped up more of the dip and began spreading it over himself, rubbing it over his chest, circling his nipple, running a hand down and -

Dammit...

I couldn't take it anymore. No-one would know what I was thinking about apart from you guys, and you can keep a secret, right?

"Oh yeah, that's finger lickin' good, isn't it?" I whispered huskily to the England in my head. He nodded in reply, licking his lips as he bit into the chicken, moaning as he chewed, swallowing slowly and opening his mouth wide, and closing his eyes in pleasure as he moved it back and forth, pulling at the skin with his teeth.

I moaned quietly in return as I slipped my hand down, caressing my balls and throwing my head back as I lightly slid my thumb back and forth across the tip, squeezing my hand every now and then to add that extra burn that I always loved. "Gather 'Round the Good Stuff" I chuckled to myself as I imagined England laying on stomach, propped up on his elbows and sinking into the melted cheese of a pizza. He bent down, licking up the cheese in one slow taste, taking it in his mouth. His eyes widened at the amount, his hands clenching as his jaw worked. He started to rub himself, pinching his nipple as his hips jerked and he moaned my name.

I was so close, just a few more strokes and I would be there, but just as I was about to come, I heard the front door open and I watched in horror as the real England came into view and stepped in front of me.

"America, what the hell are you doing!?" He shouted, his eyes drawing straight to my cock and I shouted in both pleasure and surprise as I came, most of it falling onto his shoe.

He screamed in shock, his mouth dropping open in horror, his eyes running back and forth between my crotch and his shoe.

"H-Hello, Mr. England." I said, doing my best bad guy voice and laughing nervously.

I'm not sure what he was thinking, as he just scowled and stormed off.

That was a sad day. He acted like it was my fault, but everyone knows you should at least knock before entering someone elses house!

He didn't talk to me for a month after that :(

And on the bright side, going by England's scream, my plan actually worked :D

* * *

*I'm not a gamer, but my brother plays this a lot and he's always screaming the house down shouting his friends names in a weirdly frantic way, like he's having XBOX sex or something creepy like that, so I assume it's a multiplayer game. I'm just making guesses about the next sentence as well, so correct me if I'm wrong.

I was quite chuffed with this idea, and I really hope it hasn't been done before. Sorry it didn't flow so well, there were so many catch phrases with innuendo that didn't know what to pick! You'll see later in the month why I didn't use any obvious McDonald's catchphrases ;)

Also, I'm so bloody knackered it's ridiculous and, even though I was totes excited about this one, I really could not be arsed. I'm slowing down already ;_;

Also, those of you waiting on an update for 'Heroes Don't Die' and 'Soul Trading for Beginners', I'm slowly writing the chapters up, and they'll probably be here Saturday.

I'm deffo gonna come back and rewrite this one at some point. :P

Please check out the poll on my profile.


	6. Day 5 - Blow Job

**A/N:** I was totally tempted to use the 'let me tie your shoes, well, since I'm already down here... Bitch, I'm wearing sandals. Oh. Oooooooh idea (if you get what I'm talking about, good on ya ;) ) but I wanted to use a flavoured condom at some point during this and day 5 seemed like the best option

* * *

It was England's birthday :I

Birthday's are the best, mainly because there's food, and cake (which totally doesn't count as real food because it's just that awesome) and then the best thing ever – birthday sex :D

Most years on his birthday, I'd organize this massive party and invite everyone (though it's never as big as mine.) I would rent a hotel and invite all the nations and we would celebrate from evening till dawn! We'd eat and dance and chat and, after the little micro-nations had been herded off to bed, we'd get drunk and dance the night away.

Most nations would retreat to their rooms around four, leaving only the hardcore drinkers like Mexico, Russia and Scotland to battle it out to see who could last the longest. It wasn't much fun to clean up, and Scotland would usually end up breaking something expensive, which England would have to pay for and then he would get angry and I would always get blamed because, somehow, it was always my fault and then-

Anyway, usually I would be totally psyched for England's birthday, but that was until I asked him what he wanted for his birthday.

:(

At first he asked if I would bottom for once. Like, he seriously said 'there's only one thing I want in the world right now.' How sad is that? I'm America. I could have given him freaking anything, like a helicopter or a polar bear, and he asked me to bottom? Just lame.

So, after, like, an hour or two of him shouting at me that I never try when it comes to our relationship and how I only think about myself (which totally isn't true as I was thinking of my ass, not me) I finally agreed to something.

It was pretty unfair of him. I mean, he expected me to help clean up in the morning, but how was I meant to actually move after he'd done me? I'd read in this totally scary manga Japan left lying around that you can barely move for, like, three days or something after your first time. I don't want that. Or maybe that was only if you did it with an octopus...

Anyway, after all this arguing and whatever, I now found myself on our bed, sitting on my knees and facing England, who was sprawled out against the headboard, looking at me with expectant eyes. We were both completely naked, bar England's awkward old-man socks which he said he had to wear or he'd feel 'naked' o_O

His legs were spread, his knees up and he had a horrible grin on his face that he always has when he's about to start making fun of me.

And all because I'd stupidly agreed to give England a blow job for his birthday :I

I was really nervous for some reason. Usually, I was a hero when it came to this stuff, and had no problem being naked and touching and rubbing and whatever, but this was totally nerve-racking. I'd never done something that would make me feel so vulnerable and bending totally to England's will.

I didn't mind England being the one in charge, as it was usually like that when we had sex, but it was his annoying grin that was making me blush furiously and my heart stutter.

I just stared at it. That... That was going in my mouth...

I started to freak. There was no way I could do this. Sure, I was totally cool with it being the other way around, but no way in hell was I sticking something like that in my mouth. I put food in there! What if I accidentally bit it off? Or threw up when it hit the back of my throat? I don't want that, no-one wants that, and that would be another thing England could add to his list of 'things I never let die and bring up whenever I shout at America.' :/

"Well?" He said, smirking.

"Can we not save this for another night? I ate a lot at the -"

"No, America." He sighed, his grin fading as the annoyed scowl I was oh-so-familiar with returned.

I gulped, and so, not wanting to annoy him further, I bent down. He wasn't even hard yet :/

I held him up with my hand, scrunching my eyes closed as I took him in my mouth, my eyes widening in surprise as he started to harden slightly.

He was hot, like, weirdly hot. As I tried to bobbing my head back and forth all I could think about was how he was growing hotter and hotter as I wrapped my mouth tighter around him. It was weird to think that it was awesome, but it totally was, like a little radiator in my mouth.

"Oh god, you are so terrible at this..." He muttered.

"I'm sworry." I said, my mouth full of penis. I didn't get it, England always seemed to enjoy doing it, moaning and writhing his legs together, but this was seriously unsexy. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as his face scrunched up.

"Look, just imagine that, um...You're eating your favorite flavor if ice lolly. Er, popsicle,"

I tried to speak, but he just shot me a confused look, so I unsuckered from him with a gross popping noise. "Cola?" I asked, looking up at him, excited.

"Yeah, sure, cola. You're eating a cola ice-lolly." He said in a flat voice, almost like he didn't care about cola or something like that.

Oh man, I love cola. It's, like, the best flavor ever. Nearly everything that has more than one flavor has a cola one, which instantly makes it the most awesome flavor there is. You can even get these really cool cola mustache lolly pops, but you shouldn't use it as a mustache after you've licked it a few times :/

I tried again, but I was still so surprised at how hot his skin was that I just couldn't imagine that the weird boring skin flavor was actually cola. The heat was amazing, and I could get why England did it for me (though only after a lot of whining and moaning) but it was too distracting to think of cola and the heat at the same time.

After three minutes of me trying to pleasure him, he sighed loudly and pushed at my shoulder. I leaned back, my heart jumping as I knew he was disappointed with me. It wasn't my fault though, it wasn't exactly like I knew what I was doing or anything.

"Hang on..." England shifted, leaning awkwardly to his bed side table. He pulled open the drawer and began rootling around and muttering to himself as I watched him in confusion. "I know I have one somewhere. Ah! Here it is." There was a tearing noise and I stared at England as he started fiddling with his crotch, doing something weird that was hidden with his hands.

I tried to hold back a laugh when he removed them, as his whole dick was a dark, unnatural brown, and covered in plastic.

A condom. Really? -_-

"Now it will be popsicle-flavored."

Oh...

Wait...

Oh my God? Seriously? Cola-flavored penis? This was even cooler than the mustache lolly pops!

"I really love popsicles." I grinned.

"Christ, do all your words have to sound so childish?" He blushed, avoiding my eyes.

"What?" I pouted. 'Ice lollies' isn't any better."

He looked at me, raising a brow before smirking deeply as his eyes darkened. He slid a hand down his stomach and slowly parted his fingers, chuckling as he wrapped them around his cock and began pumping.

"America..." He said huskily as he lifted one knee up and parted himself even further. "Are you sure you don't want my ice lolly?" He let out a soft hiss, his eyes closing in pleasure as he pressed his thumb down on his tip, turning me on instantly. It wasn't fair. He always knew how to make me horny.

And okay... I guess this time I could accept he was right about his stupid British words.

I nodded and crawled back towards him, lowering my head down and starting to suck again.

Sure it was cola-flavored, but I could totally taste plastic. And it wasn't even nice cola. More like the cheap store-brand stuff that no-one really likes. The plastic was all soft and smooth and creepily slimy but I could still feel the amazing heat.

I tried to change the way I was sucking, lifting my hand up to hold him still as I ran my tongue underneath from base to tip.

He suddenly stiffened, moaning and growing harder as his hips jerked forward.

I shot back, coughing and wiping away the drool that had built up as my mouth wrapped further around him. I looked up at him, heat shooting straight to my crotch as I saw his face.

It was amazing. His cheeks were flushed, his mouth open as he gasped. "W-Why did you stop?"I smiled slightly, finally glad I was doing it right.

I mean, obviously, being the hero, I didn't want to show off my awesome BJ powers straight away, so I was just pretending I didn't know what I was doing,duh.

I lent back down, repeated the same action in long slow licks, holding onto England's thighs to make sure he didn't jerk too hard and choke me as he started to buckle and moan. "O-Oh God, America!" His head fell back as the sheets bunched in his hands, his legs writhing as pleasure started to overtake him.

I tried to change it up, but I really couldn't think of what else to do to make him squirm. I could totally understand why he did this now though, as England was completely at my mercy. I could make him do anything I wanted :D

I pushed my head down further, trying to take him all in, but he was too long, and even though he always complaining about the size of my mouth (and something to do with my stomach), there was no way I could take him all. I pressed my tongue into him, finding the ridge that was his main vein and pushing hard as I withdrew, my teeth scraping him ever so slightly.

He buckled beneath me, calling loudly as he started to shudder. "M-More." He choked as I went back down. I bit down ever so softly, wrapping my lips around him as I started to bob again.

Just hearing England moan and call my name had me growing hard, but as I looked up and saw his unguarded expression, the way his mouth was opening and closing in silent pleasure and the tears at the corners of his eyes, I hardened immediately. There was no way I couldn't find such a cute and vulnerable England irresistibly sexy.

I started to rub my thighs together, trying to pleasure myself as I sucked. But I lost focus on him, switching to myself and accidentally grazed my teeth across his tip.

I froze as I heard him give the sexiest moan I had ever heard. It was high-pitched and I could barely hear it, but it was so filled with lust and want that I almost came just from his voice (it had been a week after all. ;) )

I tentatively licked the tip, watching him for his reaction. His breath hitched and, though I thought it impossible, he blushed even harder. Grinning, I took the tip in my mouth, flicking my tongue across it as fast as I could. His entire body jerked, as he leaned forward, gasping as he slammed back against the headboard.

This was beyond cool. I seriously didn't care about tending to my aching dick anymore. I just wanted to watch him as I made him weak. I bet no-one had ever seen England in such an amazing position before.

I started to slow, running all of my tongue over his tip each time I pulled back. My tongue was starting to grow tired, but only after two more licks did England come in a shuddering mix of gasps and moans.

"Happy Birthday, England." I chuckled as he slowly opened his eyes, biting his lip as he shot back a wry grin.

* * *

Hm~

I'm not sure if I'm happy with this one...

Oh well...

(Kind of had to end it quickly because it was already over 2,000 words and I was running out of descriptive terms)

France should be popping up tomorrow :D

Thank you again for all the views/reviews :3

Please check out the poll on my profile.


	7. Day 6 - Clothed Getting Off

**A/N:** I wasn't quite sure what this meant, as the wording was slightly weird. At first I thought it was a hand job with clothes on and started to come up with a plan for it, but then I realised it was most likely them taking each others clothes off. So, I'm going to take liberties with it and pretend that it means a hand job. Also, I don't want America spending ages admiring England's body as he removes his clothes, as he does that another day.

Aaaaaaaand, sorry this is slightly late (like, midnight here in Scotland.) Hangovers and five hours of travelling do not mix well :/ (as an apology, I'll try to get the next chapters of 'Heroes Don't Die' and 'Soul Trading for Beginners', as well as the first chapter of a PruHun fic I've been working on out by tomorrow afternoon.)

* * *

First off, let me just say this was totally not my fault.

England has this crazy theory that I do this kind of stuff on purpose to piss him off, but in reality, he just gets really angry really easily. Everything I do is just natural genius molded into the form of the heroic America you all know and love. ;)

Well... Know...

And how can it be my problem if he doesn't appreciate how I bring excitement and pleasure into his everyday life? Well, I mean, apart from the fact he shouts at me for it all and sometimes just ignores me for, like, ever if I seriously screw up :/

Anyway, we were in a World Meeting. You know how those things are; nations arguing, Germany shouting at everyone and then complete silence as they all wait in bated breath for their hero, aka me, to speak.

Only this time, I couldn't. :T

It wasn't because England had cast some shitty spell in his anger, or that I had become hoarse from playing games all night (how it usually happens,) or even from the beyond awesome sex last night.

Oh no. I, America, was hard.

Now, I know what you're thinking by now – that I just get turned on by everything and have no control, but that's totally not it... Mostly...

England was teasing me again :I

I'd noticed him doing it just as the meeting had started and he hadn't stopped since. And I know he was doing it deliberately because he kept throwing looks at me every few minutes and then secretly grinning to himself in that evil-but-cute way.

Asshole.

It was really sneaky as well! Like, none of the other nations would have picked up on it because it was only something we both knew about (unless Thai-Thai really does have cameras stashed in everyone's houses like he claims.* :/ )

Because last night, we had the best sex ever. I'm not even joking. Like, seriously, 'mind-blowing' doesn't even cover it. I have no idea why, but England was in a totally loving mood last night. I suspect it might have been because we hadn't seen each other for, like, two months or something, and he seemed super-happy that the first thing I said when I saw him again was 'I love you.'

I thought he would be tired from travelling and whatnot, and I really didn't want him to try and cook (he always does that when he's really happy,) so I made dinner and ran him a bath because he was a bit sweaty and smelled like he'd been wearing the same suit for days (not that I told him that.) I bought him some chocolate because he looked seriously tired and probably needed an energy boost, but the special British stuff from the import shop, because he always gets pissy at me because apparently my chocolate is 'shit.' I also put some flowers in his room because that place is seriously dark and dreary (I mean, who makes their entire room beige? o.O ) and I couldn't find any of those cool air fresheners that spray every time you walk past it, so I hoped they would get rid of the old man smell that tends to linger whenever he leaves for a while.

Anyway, he started of really slow and sweet, wanting to do everything himself. He kept murmuring about how much he loved me, and how he loved everything I'd done for him that day (no idea what he was on about but I let it drop because sex) and how he was so glad that we were together again.

There were these deep but unbelievably hot kisses that just seemed to go on for hours, and even though he was pleasuring me slowly, it wasn't in the torturing teasing way that I was used to, but a loving sensual way that was so sexy I couldn't help but moan every time he touched me.

But that wasn't really what made it so good. We found out that, for some reason, my left nipple is way more sensitive than my right. I don't really get how this can be possible. Like, maybe I have more nerves there or something? I dunno, but because of that, he spent most of the night playing with it, so much so that now, every time my shirt brushed across it, I would wince slightly because it was so sore. I pretty sure it was bruised this morning when I looked in the mirror, but England hurried me along thanks to this stupid meeting, so I didn't get to check it out properly.

He had this one thing he kept doing the whole night when he wasn't teasing it with his mouth. Even when he was riding me, he still kept a hand firmly on my nipple, circling it with his index finger and never leaving it alone. And, ever since the meeting had begun, he'd had one hand propped on the table with that same finger making small circles upon the tabletop. I just been watching it, and eventually I couldn't help but think about last night.

So, as I grew hornier and hornier, I'd casually undone my pants and began playing with myself, thinking through last night bit by bit as I tried to keep my upper arms steady and not give away the fact that I as jerking off in a world meeting.

Germany had calmed everyone down and was now asking each nation their opinion on something. I wasn't really listening, too focused on England's voice lustily whispering for me to enter him (but it was, like, in my head, so no-one else could hear it :3).When he got to me, he ended up shouting my name, like, three times before I actually responded.

"Well, America?" He asked gruffly.

"I, er..." I honestly had no idea what was going on. I had paused, both my hands wrapped around my cock as the entire table stared at me, waiting for an answer. "I'll pass on this one." I said, a bit breathy from being so horny.

Germany raised a brow, obviously disappointed that the hero of all nations didn't speak up, and moved on around the table, asking England next.

I resumed my current activities, starting to feel it properly until a few minutes later, when I realized England was staring at me. His head was cocked and his eyes narrowed as his chin rested on netted fingers. He just gave another weird, cheery smile and turned his attention back to the meeting.

I wished he would stop smiling like that. It was really beginning to creep me out.

All this stopping and starting was doing nothing for my cock, as I kept losing it and started to need to rub extra fast and play with the tip more than usual to get me going again.

I started to picture England again, closing my eyes so I wouldn't be distracted as I thought of him sucking me off and the loud moans and calls he gave as I played with him in return.

"America!" I thought I heard England whisper. Confused, as it wasn't at all sexy or lusty and therefore probably not part of my fantasy, I opened my eyes to find England glaring at me.

"I can't believe you're hard!" He hissed. How did he always find these kinds of things out? It was like he had a boner detector or something :/ "We're at a world meeting! What if Sealand was here!?"

"Dude, come on, you know that little squirt will never be a nation." I said, maybe a bit too loudly, as France shot an amused look at us. He sat on the other side of England, but his chair was edged close to Spain so they could talk about whatever pervy things people like them discussed.

England looked at me like -_- but then the glare returned.

"Pleeeeease England..." I tried to do the whole puppy-dog eyes thing, but I'm not sure it worked. "I'm so horny~ I'll never ask for anything again, I promise!"

"You always say that." He had a point there, but this time I totally meant it.

"Buuuut~"

"No."

Dammit. He said it in his 'and that's final voice', which meant if I kept pushing it he would snap and start shouting at me in the middle of the meeting, and then everyone would find out I was hard :(

When I said I'd wanted him to stop smiling, I didn't mean I wanted him to be angry with me again...

I spent the next five minutes trying to sneakily jerk off, but with England's hawk eyes making me nervous (and not the sexy 'I love you' kind,) I totally couldn't get a good rhythm going and just felt useless and lame and horny. It was so unfun, you guys :/

Urgh...I hated this. I don't think I was even horny anymore. And it was totally pathetic that I started dryly sobbing quietly to myself. Being horny and not relieved is, like, the one thing I hate most in the world apart from all the serious stuff that threatens my country :(

So, when I suddenly felt a hand slap mine out the way and grab my cock, I couldn't help but gasp loudly. I blushed, turning to find England's chair right next to mine, his left arm vanishing under the table while his right held a pen and he looked like he was pretending to write.

"Stay quiet, you idiot!" He hissed as he began to pump. I needed to put a hand over my mouth to stop the moans escaping.

"Something you want to say, America?" Germany looked at me, confused. I just shook my head, the pleasure of England's hand nearly too much.

I totally think Germany was worried that he wouldn't get any input from the amazing America or something, because he kept flicking glances at me, a if he was waiting for me to talk or something, but I so couldn't. Not then, at least, (but just wait till the next meeting. Then it will be my time to shine again!)

It only took about five strokes from England before I came, gasping and squeezing my eyes shut as I bit into my hand, trying to stop myself from shouting England's name in the process.

Oh crap, I totally didn't think about this :/

What was I going to do when I stood up and there was a stain on my pants that everyone could see?

Thankfully, England pulled out one of his lame handkerchiefs he embroided himself and handed it to me. "Clean yourself up." He said coldly. Aw man, I was so going to be shouted at when we got home :(

I started wiping while all the other nations began to file out, but didn't notice France leaning over, leaning on England's shoulder, until he spoke.

"My, my." he chuckled, not taking his eyes from England, who started blushing furiously for some reason. "Being nation is such 'ard work, is it not?"

"F-Fuck off, frog."

France just grinned and turned to me. "Next time you need a 'hand' L'Amerique , just ask. I'll be more than 'appy to 'elp." and then off he went, le honononing as he saw Canada.

"Wow! Isn't France nice?" I asked England, who started glaring at me. I just thought France was a pervy creep. Who'd have thought he would offer to help me with my paperwork? :D

* * *

*This is a total guess on Thailand's nature, as I don't know much about him :P

**A/N:** Not exactly the greatest one shot in the world, but it will do for now. It was only fifteen minutes to midnight when I reached the hand job part, and I'm seriously falling asleep here, so I'll come back and extend this chapter in the future. Promise.

There's now more than 10,000 words written so far ^-^

I think Prussia and Austria are popping up tomorrow.

Thank you again for the reviews :D

Please check out the poll on my profile.


	8. Day 7 - Dressed-Naked (Half-Dressed)

(**A/N: **I changed my mind! I'm leaving it as one big fic ;_; I'm sorry to those of you who are following and have had to endure the repeated notifications :'(

Go check out the poll on my profile as well. It would mean a lot if you answered it :)

I hope y'all like PruAus, though I'm totally panicky because I'm essentially using them to add a little spice to this... And because my America seems to have the attention span of a flea -.-")

* * *

We had made it to the meeting early for once. Usually, it would take ages for England to get me out of bed, dressed and out the hotel in time to get there in time for the start (not even heroes can sleep when there are the best ever harlem shake videos to be watched.) To be honest, as soon as I became independent, I've never really shown up on time. I was always fashionably late, teasing the others nations who I knew would wait for hours in anxious anticipation to hear my awesome plans.

Because of that, I wasn't really sure what we would do. England had sailed off to go and talk to the other nations, but apart from the creepy-ass staring from Russia, no-one seemed to want to talk to me, so I started to build a pyramid out of the styrofoam cups from the coffee machine.

After five minutes it was clearly obvious which nation was leading in cup architecture.

I was just about to finish the fourth last row when England cleared his throat behind me. I maaaaaay have been slightly moody due to him ignoring me and leaving me alone with my cool cup-pyramid, which meant I sort of just scowled at him and returned to my cups. He siddled around me like a stupid crab and looked at me through my pyramid.

"'Ow about a quick shag before the meeting starts?" He said in his annoying 'I-know-you're-pissed-and-you-find-my-casual-accen t-sexy-so-I'll-use-it-to-get-what-I-want' voice.

It was a hard decision for me to make. When it comes down to a choice between cup pyramids and sex, I seriously debated for a good five seconds before agreeing.

Okay, maybe I totally overreacted and shouted out "_Really_!?" like an excited kid at Disney World after the words sunk in, but come on you guys, sex :D  
And that's how we found ourselves in the supply closet, Arthur's pants around his ankles, him bent over a table and me doing him from behind.  
Now, I know what you're thinking: oh wow, America's have sex again, how is he going to screw it up this time, but trust me guys, I had this. When it comes to spontaneous sex, there was no-one better than me, and there was no way I would suddenly get bored and start looking at something other than the back of England's head...

Nope...

Not at all...

Okay, but still, the closet was awesome. It was filled to the brim with all my favourite kinds of stationary. You've probably figured out by now that the word 'focus' isn't exactly in the heroes guidebook, and there is so much cool stuff you can take to a meeting and they don't even question it. And this closet had _everything_, from scotch tape to post-it notes.

Post-it notes, you guys. Seriously, they are, like, the funnest things ever! :D There is literally nothing greater than -

OMG! SHARPIES! Ohmanohmanohmanohman. I freaking_ love_ sharpies. They are so cool! David Beckham says so!

And omg, they had FOUR colours of sharpies. FOUR! I have trouble finding the red and green ones, but they had orange! ORANGE!

This was seriously, like, the best supply closest ever. I should come early to these meetings more often.

"Can you fucking focus?"

Jeez, moody much? Looks like someone didn't appreciate the true value of the sharpie. If you don't know what they are, then you've totally been living under a rock or something. They are, like, Gods among pens. They can write on anything. I'm not even joking. Whaley needs a tattoo like that guy in One Piece? Done. Tony wants to prove his love by writing 'YANKEE' across my forehead when I'm asleep? Done. My vegetables need to express their emotions in more than just their outer form? Done.

Lol, I'm totally lying on that last one (like I have vegetables :P) but, I could if I wanted to, and that's what makes them so great. I've not tried it yet, but I swear I could write 'England is a facebutt' on the grass of my backyard if the urge ever took me (facebutt, not buttface, because having a butt like a face is just awkward... I mean, your mouth would... and you'd see everything! O.O).

"America!" _Oops..._

Come on though, I can't be the only one who gets a hard on for this kind of stuff.

My mini stationary appreciation spaz was put on hold as the door handle started to rattle. We both froze, staring in horror as the door opened to reveal Prussia and a very red Austria.

I could tell something was wrong with Austria the moment I saw him, and it wasn't just because of my keen hero senses.

"Looks like someone had the same idea." Prussia said, as he smirked slowly.

"Wait..." Austria said in this really panicky, weak voice, his eyes wide as he stared at us both. "You can't-" But he was cut off suddenly as Prussia jerked his shoulder, causing Austria to yelp slightly and redden.

"You managed to make it across the hall without anyone seeing you." He purred, completely ignoring us as he forced Austria inside the closet, the door swinging shut by itself. "How is this any different?" He asked softly, biting the shell of Austria's ear as his arm jerked again. Austria moaned, his hips curving towards what I now assumed to be Prussia's fingers.

"You love it, don't you, you little slut?" He hissed into Austria's ear.

It felt totally awkward. For one thing, no-one apart from me seemed to be bothered by the fact we were suddenly taking part in some weird-ass foursome, or that Austria was moaning so loudly I was sure that anyone walking by would hear him.

But most of all, it was the way Prussia was treating Austria. I thought being called a 'slut' was a bad thing, but it just seemed to make Austria moan harder and buck against Prussia's hand.

What surprised me even more, was England freaking tightened as well, muttering 'Fuck, that's hot." before pushing back against me. Not that I minded that much, but still :/

"Prussia...please...Play me harder." he panted heavily, his knuckles whitening around the edge of the shelf. Omg, you guys, this would have been so much funnier if I didn't have to keep concentrating on doing England. Like, Austria kept making these little squeaking noises every time Prussia moved his arm, and his mouth kept silently opening and closing like a goldfish, but the funniest thing? Every now and then he would randomly moan something that would cause England to chuckle and Prussia's eye to twitch.

"Oh, F sharp."

"You're hitting my G-string."

"Crescendo."

This went on for about five minutes, with Prussia eventually snapping and leaning forward, nipping the base the of Austria's neck and causing him to buckle. "Ah, ah fortississimo~"

"Having trouble there?" England snorted, causing Prussia to flush bright red. I thrust into him again and England shuddered slightly, his eyes fluttering closed and his head tilting back as he gave a moan I had never heard before. It was all deep and lusty and ridiculously sexy. I hardened up even further, all my focus on the other two lost as I watched in amazement as England started to moan louder, gripping the table and shaking it like I was doing him too hard.  
His moans were incredible. It had been a while since I had been so turned from a quickie, but I'd never seen him react so-

Omg! D:

He was faking it! D':

I know I'm not that great, but he didn't need to start putting it on just to impress Prussia and Austria. I could that his eyes kept flicking back to Prussia, who's attention was torn between both Austria and us.

What an ass :(

This day was turning out shitly. This must have been this first time I'd actually been annoyed during sex. Not even that time when England told me I had to stop eating food in the bed because he hated the feeling of crumbs on his back :(

This was lame, but on the other hand, Austria looked like he was about to come. His mouth was moving faster and his body starting doing that weird shuddering thing I do when I'm about to blow.

Prussia just smirked and bit the shell of his ear, licking it softly before whispering (though it totally wasn't whispering because I saw him smirk at England and we could both hear him perfectly) "Come for me," in that husky tone I can never do.

Austria arched his chest forward, almost rubbing it against the table as he cried out "M-Mozart!"

Lol, wut?

Austria went bright red and Prussia gave an awkward chuckle as he pulled his fingers out of Austria with a gross slick. Austria sighed, his legs still probably weak as Prussia fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and started to wipe his fingers.

I'd kind of gotten distracted again, but considering how weirded out I was, you had to give me credit for remembering to keep moving even though I was super-angry with England (but not angry enough to stop smexing him up~)

I had to look back to England as I tried to set up a decent rhythm again – not that I needed to, I just wanted to make sure I was being perfect, so, by the time I had, Austria had someone how pulled up his pants and was now being held by Prussia - bridle style O.O

Wow, how sad. England's never needed to be carried by me after coming. Just proves how considerate I am.

It was really weird though. Prussia placed a soft kiss on Austria's forehead, whispering something into his ear and then staring into his eyes with a soft smile. I thought Prussia was forcing Austria to do that, seeing as he was being so mean to him, but it looked like they were even cosier than me with a subway after sex :/

"Have fun at the meeting, you two." England chuckled, edgining back on me and squeezing around to remind me to keep moving :I

Austria just pushed his glasses up his nose and refused to make eye contact with either of us.

"Well,"Prussia purred, his eyes never leaving England's. "That was fun. Though I must say, it's rather nice seeing you in that position again, England." He smirked before carrying Austria out the door.

"What's he talking about?" I asked, confused and feeling slightly useless after hearing Austria come so hard.

"Just shut up and move!"

England never tells me anything :I

* * *

(**A/N:** oh, wow, that was terrible writing. Sorry ;_; I'm really rusty at this...  
I planned for the next story to be pretty funny, but if I'm writing's like this, I might not be able to pull it off...  
A fun tale – I was writing part of this on the train down to Oxford, sitting next to a little old lady, and then, as soon as I wrote the 'pants around his ankles and doing him from behind' line, she shot out of her seat and moved to the other end of the carriage.  
OTL  
Anyway...  
Also, thank you to those of you who suggested things for Austria to call out. I tried to use them all xD

Please check out the poll on my profile. )


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